Nothing about Polynesian Dreams this time, promise.
I am busy writing a novel, not my first one in my career of stringing words together.
The political scene inspired me for this one. I am letting you in on the first 3 unedited chapters.
Let me know. Johan pokerbydutch@verizon.net
THE
COURT IS IN SESSION
Johan
Van Oldenbarneveld
It was a typical Los Angeles
evening, warm and sultry. Charlie's Bar and Grill was in one of the non
descriptive side street around the corner of the City of Angels County court
house. This watering hole was established in the roaring twenties and had been
a favorite of generations of attorneys, defense and prosecuting alike ever
since the original Charles N. McKenzie opened the door for the first time.
Countless court victories and defeats had been celebrated or bemoaned at the
well worn oak bar or in one of the red leather booth or round tables, scarred
from careless cigarette burns and some of them with the carved initials of
vandals or lovers. The original Charlie had made a pile during prohibition and
gone to live in Florida with his ill gotten gains. The bar had gone through a
myriad of owners, some not bad, some not good. The current Charlie was a tall,
bespectacled debarred lawyer named Henk Davidson, who everybody called Harley,
who after losing his license to practice law had been an investigator and knew
most everybody in the courthouse. If he
was not working on a case, and this was less often with time, he occupied a
corner stool from opening to near closing, sipping whiskey and soda in a tall
glass and leaving each night slightly sloshed. Finally he figured it was
cheaper to buy the joint and surprisingly Charlie's thrived under his
ownership. He hired a dependable fry cook, gave him the title of Chef and you
could get an excellent bratwurst with potato salad and a delicious German
pickle from noon until closing time at 2 am. No menu and nothing else was
served out of the small kitchen, a paper plate, a plastic fork and in the
corner one could help themselves to a squirt of deli-mustard, a paper napkin
but ketchup was an absolute no-no. The brat was served on a fresh and
tasty French roll and the potato salad was homemade and the best in the west.
Tonight, in his favorite
corner booth, Walter Hammond II Attorney at Law, sat morosely sipping his
second double single malt scotch on the rocks.
"I knew I would
find you here", and with these words Henry Powell, slipped in the booth
beside him.
"Well now that you
found me, what is on your mind my brown brother, former roommate and brilliant
bull-shitter par excellence?"
"I see you are in a
rare mood this fine evening", replied the tall, well dressed and groomed black man ."
"Yes, I am, and so
would you if you had Judge Julia Hightower on your ass all day. That miserable,
and I have trouble not using the C word, must have her period. Jesus Christ,
each time I made a motion it was ‘overruled, counselor’ in that nasal annoying
voice. God, that man hating lesbian is
making my life miserable."
Walter got the attention of the waitress,
Peggy, or Leggy Peggy as the insiders called her for the obvious apparent two reasons and held up 2 fingers.
"On top of it, the
guy I am representing is a class A asshole, a Russian who cannot build his
shitty strip mall, probably a money laundering enterprise owned by the Russian
mafia because some old fart who is standing in his way and who is adamant he
wants to die in the white clapboard shack that he was born in, raised his three
children in and absolutely will not sell. The old guy is half blind with
glaucoma and I much rather be his attorney than the slime ball who is suing so
he can built another blight on our fair city. The guy has been in our country
for 15 years but made me hire a Russian translator because he claims he does
not understand enough English to know what is happening in court. So, at $300.00
per day, I have my the flow of my brilliant reasoning continuously interrupted
by a young Russian translator of whom I cannot take my eyes of her beautiful
rack.. There, my political wizard, representing the democratic party as trusted
advisor, is the reason I think I sit here, lapping up good scotch and getting
blasted."
"Brilliant plan. I
guess you are not in the mood to hear why I came looking for you?"
"Not in the least
even though we fought many battles in the hallowed halls of Berkeley's,
studying for the bullshit bar exams together and chased after the same warm
pussies that liberal bastion had to offer."
"Yes, but you
scored more times than I"
"That is only
because you had morals while I had none, and my only reason for living was to get laid by those pretty little women all
dressed up with pushup bras having their lush pink tits peeking through their
blouses and wearing panties with the days of the week embroidered on them, only
never the right day."
Henry looked
thoughtfully at his friend, "Fond memories my friend, and then we had to
spoil it all by getting married. You to that
tall blond from that blue blooded rich family in Vermont. I, to that
super cute, super liberal Latino who I helped with getting her degree in
jurisprudence and now is the star attorney in immigration court and has little
time for me or our issue, son Daniel, now going on ten and probably will get
laid before he is fifteen. I see a juvenile delinquency case in the
future."
Where upon Walter
Hammond II replied, "fret not my learned friend, I too did not fare so
well. Frosty, as I call Katherine the Great Hammond nee Foster, has greatly
reduced all the once so pleasant sexual activity. Shit we use to go at it like
two drunken monkeys when we lived in that small apartment on Claremont Avenue
in Oakland."
"Yes, I remember,
we were neighbors and the walls were thin"
"Suck up,
buddy," and Walter again held up two fingers to Leggy Peggy.
"However, you have
aroused my curiosity, why did you come looking for me in this shit hole?"
"Walter, do not
insult this establishment. Just because it is smells like spilled booze and the
toilet like stale piss, it is your home away from home."
“Yes, anything is better
than that brick palace in Pasadena, recently featured in House Beautiful with two
beautiful people in beautiful clothes with two beautiful children and a
beautiful Schnauzer. Talk about Schnauzer, did you noticed Leggy Peggy’s
short, shorts? Christ, any shorter and
you will get a peek at her Schnauzer.”
“Walter, got to admit,
it gets attention and sells booze, the main reason Charlie’s in business. Booze
and sex, a lethal but profitable combination.”
(2)
The
Proposal
Walter Hammond II was
well into his third double single malt scotch on the rocks and was about to
order another round from Leggy Peggy when he suddenly remembered something
Henry Powel who shared his booth had mentioned.
"Well, my black
brother, why did you come looking for me in this likely place to find me?"
"Light brown brother
to you, remember my Mom was one of the last woman to be picked from the roof of
the American consulate in Hanoi?"
"Yes, that was an
incredible story and lucky for you but also lucky for me because you are my
best friend; don't ever forget that."
Henry looked long and
hard at Walter before he said:"You know Senator Dusty Morse announced that
he was not going to run for reelection next November."
"Yes, finally that
old grafter and bullshit artist has pilfered enough money from the lobbyist to
retire and play endless rounds of golf in Palm Desert. Christ, that douche 24
years ago did not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Now
that champion pork barrel thief is probably worth a cool ten mill not counting
the dough he might have salted away in an off-shore account in the Cayman
islands or Aruba or under his mattress. No wonder they call that old bastard
the Pig Farmer behind his back."
"You do not have a
high regard for our esteemed politico, do you Walter?"
"No shit, is this
something new?'
Henry again looked
thoughtfully at his friend before he said: "No, it is not and that is why when
I tell you my proposal you probably seriously will doubt my sanity"
"Okay, buddy, out
with it. You have sufficiently aroused my curiosity."
"Walter, before I
tell you why I came looking for you in this splendid bratwurst emporium, promise that you will not
fall out of this booth from laughter."
"My dear coffee
colored brother, I long ago quit making promises of any kind. It got me hitched to Frosty, remember?"
Henry took a deep breath
before he said: "Well here it is. The California Democratic Party has held
several meeting about whom to choose to replace Senator Dusty Morse and at
their last meeting held a few hours ago they unanimously picked you as their candidate
most likely to win that seat in next year November elections"
Walter, looked at his
friend open mouthed before answering he said: "You are fucking with me,
right?"
Henry, not only earned a
degree in Jurisprudence at Cal, but also a Master Degree in Political Science
from Princeton where he was enrolled on a academic scholarship and was also an
affirmative action case. The California Democratic party hired Henry as an
advisor first because it was the political correct thing to do with a Vietnamese
Mother and African American Dad. Henry proved to be a tireless pro who helped
several candidates win their political race, some who would have suffered a
certain defeat but for his expertise. He as yet had lost a race in which he had
been the political operative. His star was rising in the party and now and then
he appeared on TV as one of the talking heads on a political show. Henry who spend several times a week at the
gym looked trim and fit, handsome most people thought, a light brown skin and a
slight Oriental look, a bit of grey in his close cropped black hair and using a
movie star comparison, looking like Harry Belafonte. His Dad, Joe Powell, who
served in the Air Force in Viet Nam as air traffic controller but was turned
down by the FAA when he applied for a similar job. Instead he worked for the
postal service, first as a carrier and slowly up the ladder to a prestigious
job at a main distribution center. Henry, like Walter, 46 years of age, was 6
feet 2 inches, with an athletic build and at Cal had a basketball scholarship.
Walter, again using a movie star comparison, often mentioned as a lookalike
Jimmy Steward, also played on the basketball team, however sans scholarship.
Walter Sr. had a stellar career as a superior court judge in Orange County and
now enjoyed his retirement, playing golf several times a week at the senior
community he and his second wife Maureen moved to. Walter's Mom has suffered a
deadly accident when Walter was a ten year old and grew up in a quiet street
within a stone's throw of Disney Land. The
judge remarried but has a rocky relationship with Walter who wanted to be a
liberal art major instead of a law career. The judge was persistent and
threatened to withhold tuition and living allowance unless Walter Hammond II
choose the law. Walter's Mom left no assets to Walter and his younger sister
Marjorie, so law it was. Henry and Walter had developed a vast and lasting
friendship, they were room-mates all through their years in school and saw each
other socially and like now in the dark booth at Charlie's.
Henry said: "Just
as I though your reaction would be. Please, Walter, listen to me. I will spring
for two brats and another round of Glenlivid if you just listen. You are not
too bombed to do that, are you?"
"No, you sobered me
up with your ridiculous bullshit. Hell I have not even voted since Slick Willy
ran for re-election and I only voted because that horn dog looked right in the
camera and scammed the entire country with his, 'I had no sex with that woman,"
Monica something,' that was when I thought now there is a brilliant
politician."
Henry was able to get
the attention of Leggy Peggy and ordered two brats and another round of double
scotch.
In no time two hot and
juicy sandwiches were delivered together with another round of whiskey. The two
friends made short order of the brats and the potato salad. Henry wiped his
mouth with a paper napkin and said: "Proceed with the bullshit my old,
very old and learned friend. I am yours but be careful, I might upchuck that
excellent sausage right on your dark blue suit."
(3)
The
Details
Henry swallowed hard
before he continued. "I brought up your name at a couple of meetings. Some
members of the selection committee did the same. Several committee members
liked my idea of your candidacy, other not so much. Last night I received the
go ahead and they told me to approach you with the idea and to explore your
ideas."
Walter stared into his
drink and pretended to nod off. Finally he raised his head and said: "Here
is what I think, you have lost your fucking mind or you and your committee
members have been snorting coke or smoking some high grade Mary Jane, this is
the only explanation."
Henry said: "No,
friend, we did not snort or smoke, except that damn Hawkins with his foul
cigar, we are dead serious and let me run this by you. We did some preliminary
investigation and know you were a registered Republican. Your Dad is a
prominent Republican and this is not a negative but a plus. You simply have to
use that old bullshit story of, 'I did not leave the party, the party left
me", works every time."
Walter looked at his
buddy, "You are a slick fucker, no wonder the Democrats adore you. You shovel
shit better than anybody. Changing parties, just to piss of dear old dad, that
part appeals to me."
"Come on, Walter,
your Dad is okay and your stepmother is a nice lady. Why are you so pissed at
him?"
"Simple, brother, I
could have been a journalist, perhaps written a novel, even a screen play,
instead I had to look at that ugly broad Superior Judge Julia Hightower. God, I
dread tomorrow"
"Perhaps you could
butter her up a bit, charm her with your brilliant smile, dimple and all."
"Fuck, that won't
work, that cunt only has eyes for that bull dyke deputy guarding the courtroom.
Shit, the rumor has it that they even plan to marry, once it is legal, which
should be any day now."
"Walter, this is
the booze talking."
"No it is not, I
hate that pretend woman with a passion."
To change the subject,
"you are not driving home tonight, I hope"
"Thanks for your
concern, old buddy, but when I have a case that is continued I always stay at
that flea bag hotel a few block from here and I have old Harley call me a cab,
if he is sober enough to do that."
"Come on, Walter,
The Holiday Inn is anything but a flea bag. You are in one of your pissy moods,
brought on by the honorable Julia."
"Let me go on with
why you could be the next senator from California in Washington DC."
"You are going to
make me puke, aren't you?"
Henry ignored his
friend, "Will you agree that you have the good looks people like in their
representative?"
"Oh, is that so,
why was Marilyn Monroe than not the President? Tell me that, brown
motherfucker."
"Come on Walter,
listen and be serious for a moment."
"No can do, my
love, you were always the serious one, I played the burlesque clown and you the
straight man. Remember, Harry Blake on Telegraph, shit we had a lot of fun and
now and then scored with one of the sorority sisters."
"Yes, Walter, you
did most of the scoring if I remember. I had jealous fits when you did not come
home and I had to lie and cover for you with that prick who was our dorm
monitor."
Walter doffed his
imaginary hat, "I thank you profusely for that. Let's have one more for
the road, after all the bullshit I need another injection."
Henry shot his friend a
quick glance, "No sir, you can order another after you hear me out. I can
relate to you because I know you. First
however I got to take Senor Pedro for
a walk."
"Who in the hell is
Senor Pedro?"
Henry let out a chuckle:
"That's what Juanita's name for my manhood." Henry looked a bit
embarrassing at his friend.
"Shit, too much
information. Tell me dear amigo, let senora Juanita still enter her furry casa
now and then?"
Henry's cheek reddened,
"If you must know, yes. Not as frequently as senor Pedro wants."
"I understand
completely, my frosty only let me touch her alabaster boobs and have carnal
knowledge of her on Sunday morning. It is a ritual, almost without deviation.
Sunday is boom-boom day."
Henry replied: "And
we know that the rest of the week you are celibate because we already had the
bimbo detection squad investigating your carnal activities."
"Shit, again. I
thought that bimbo shit went out when slick Willy left office."
"No sir, his spies
might have coined the phrase but it is used almost in background check on all
prospective candidates. We do not like surprises of any kind, least of all some
naked lady jumping out of the wedding cake."
"Go walk your
Pedro, hurry back, I am still thirsty after all this b.s."
A few minutes later
Henry slid in the booth. Another tumbler of whiskey was already waiting for
him. "Walter, this selection committee of which I am a trusty advisor has
done extensive research. I played some of your closing arguments of your most
famous trials and to say they were impressed would be a huge understatement.
One lady of the committee was wiping away a tear. You cannot lose." A shoe
in as far the party is concerned."
(4)
The
Fish takes the Bait.
